Everyday Problems of Behavior

Hermann A. Peine, Ph.D. & Roy Howarth M.D.
Two Goat Publishing – Salt Lake City, Utah 84108
Original Copyright 1975 Hermann A. Peine and Roy Howarth – Penguin Publishers
Copyright © 1993 transferred to Two Goat Publishing: All rights reserved

Chapter 3 – How and When to Use Rewards

• What Do You Do?
• Discussion
• Timing of Rewards
• Review
• Discussion of ‘What Do You Do?’
• Follow-Up Quiz
• Answers

What Do You Do?

Choose the appropriate response in the following situations:

1. Your one-year-old child says ‘Mama’ for the first time as you put him to bed; you are pleased and you want to encourage him. Would you:

   (A) Get his bottle ready and give him a drink from it as a treat, as he rarely uses it now.
   (B) Say ‘Mama’ back to him.
   (C) Play with him in his bed later in the morning.
   (D) Smile, pick him up and give him a hug.

2. Your ten-year-old child has brought home a good report card. Would you:

   (A) Give him something that he likes to eat.
   (B) Praise him.
   (C) Say that as a reward he can stay up late that night to watch television.
   (D) Praise him and say that because he has done well you will put money in an account for use later in his school career.

3. You are encouraging your twelve-year old child to polish his shoes regularly as part of normal care of his clothes. Each time he remembers would you:

   (A) Say ‘Your shoes look very nice’ or make a similar comment.
   (B) Give him a small treat.
   (C) Take him to a movie or other entertainment that evening.
   (D) At the end of the day, say how well he has done his chores that day.

4. Your four-year-old is trying to tie his shoe laces. Would you encourage him with praise:

   (A) At each attempt.
   (B) Once a week for trying.
   (C) At the end of the day when he goes to bed.
   (D) When he finally achieves a perfect bow.

In the last chapter we said that whatever happens while or immediately after a person does something influences how that person behaves on future occasions. Whatever the person is doing, if what happens as a result or in response is pleasing or satisfying, he is likely to act in the same way more often or more strongly. We can say that this particular behavior has been encouraged or reinforced. It is reinforcement that keeps children doing what they have learned, whether it is regarded as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ behavior. Anything that children find rewarding will reinforce the behavior. For children, reinforcement may be tangible rewards, such as toys, comics, books, drawing, painting or craft equipment, items to go with an established collection (like foreign stamps), candy, money, points, stars or other tokens.

Other rewards which can be used to reinforce desired behavior are activities. These may range from fairly passive experiences like watching television, listening to stories, looking at or reading books together, to being given a chance to let off steam without restrictions for a while, stay out later in the evening, or stay up later at night. Younger children are rewarded when their parents participate in a game or activity, while older children are rewarded if their friends are included. Activities might include building models, playing board games, going walking or fishing, or giving a party or dance. By their nature these kinds of activity are usually deferred, taking place some time after the behavior you wish to encourage or reinforce. However, the initial and immediate reward can be the promise (followed by the giving) of help from parents or other adults in arranging, setting up, or getting started something that the child would find difficult to do alone.

The reward which can be most readily and immediately given, and often is the most important and successful, is some form of attention from parents or others, such as interest, affection, praise, approval, support, agreement and congratulations. These may be shown by actions such as a smile, hug, kiss, a pat on the back, an arm round the shoulder, or by words such as: That’s good! Right! Well done! That’s just what I think. That looks (or sounds) interesting. Beautiful! Fantastic! I like that.

There are two further points to consider when you are thinking about how to reward children’s behavior:

1. A particular reward may not be satisfying to all children, and may not satisfy the same child at all times.
2. Simple attention from adults, being a powerful reward, will almost always influence children’s behavior and should therefore be given in preference to other kinds of reward or, at least, in combination with them.

Many parents, when thinking for the first time about the deliberate and conscious use of rewards, become concerned about whether rewards are really a form of bribery or blackmail and therefore undesirable.

With blackmail, unpleasant events are threatened unless certain actions are carried out. There is, however, no threat of punishment in the method advocated here. With bribery, pleasant consequences are promised if certain actions are carried out. The original meaning of the word implied that the activities being induced by bribery were illegal or unethical and usually only of advantage to the briber. If there is any doubt about whether what you are encouraging your child to do is infringing upon his rights as a child, or is dishonest, then you clearly should not even be considering making promises of rewards. We hope that what you will be trying to encourage in your child is behavior which will be helpful to him in his social development and an advantage mainly to him, although it may bring satisfaction to you as well.

For young children, in any case, the promise of a future reward is rarely successful in getting them to act in some specific way. What we have stressed is the need to give an encouraging reaction during and immediately after the desired behavior. This is obviously more difficult for many parents who have become used to trying to change their child’s ways by tempting him with big rewards in the future (bicycle, radio, etc.) in return for his cooperation now. Any behavior change affected in this way tends to be short-lived. Contracts between parents and their older children (as discussed in Chapter 8) may be seen as a form of bribery. But the briber, though seeming to have an advantage, is always vulnerable, because the value of the bribe has to be raised again and again as a result of the child’s further demands. Therefore, when contracts about behavior (such as time in at night, or chores done at home) are being agreed upon between older children and their parents, there should be no advantage taken by one side or the other. It must be a true contract with both sides offering value for what each would like out of the contract. This allows a basis for sensible compromise. Both parties are free not to enter into the contract or to withdraw, and have the full knowledge that if the agreement is not fulfilled by one there is no need for the other to do so either. This is not bribery; there are positive elements to the arrangement helping an older child to learn about fair and honest social interactions.
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It is not only the type of reinforcement that is important, but also the timing. When giving a reward to a young child, it is important to give it during or immediately after he does something you want him to learn or develop as a habit. If you delay the reward you may find that you have mistakenly encouraged something he does later.

For example, a mother wanted her seven-year-old daughter to learn the habit of brushing her teeth every morning. She decided that she would give the child a reward in the form of an inexpensive but colorful foreign stamp to go in her collection whenever it was not necessary to remind her to brush her teeth. The mother started by giving the stamp just as her daughter was leaving for school, about half an hour after she had brushed her teeth and when she had done various other things in the meantime. The girl’s mother was disappointed to find that her daughter still frequently forgot to clean her teeth over the next few weeks. She also noticed that the little girl was beginning to put her coat on and leave for school earlier than she used to. The occasional reward of the stamp was having an effect on the child dressing and leaving for school because it was given close to the time that happened, and not having the desired effect on brushing her teeth which occurred half an hour earlier. When the mother learned to give the stamps immediately after her daughter brushed her teeth she found the girl started brushing regularly, and it became an established habit which later did not require the reward of a stamp; the feeling and appearance of her clean teeth were rewarding in themselves. This mother could also have stated that the reward was for her remembering to brush her teeth. With verbal children, this association is usually helpful.

When you are trying to reinforce a behavior in a young child, it is important that the reward follow during or immediately after the child’s action, rather than after a lapse of time. It is also necessary at first to reward frequently in response to even the smallest sign of the behavior you wish to encourage.

It soon becomes apparent, however, that you can’t spend all your time rewarding your children each time they do something you like. The everyday activities of parents simply don’t allow time for this. What happens when different ways of encouraging children are used? For example, what happens when a child is given attention each time he behaves in a certain way, as compared with only once in a while? We have already seen that when a child is encouraged each time he does something, he tends to do it more frequently. He also begins to expect to receive some attention for doing it. Under these circumstances, learning is very rapid; the method is, therefore, useful in encouraging the initial development of a particular habit or teaching a new behavior. But what happens once we stop the encouragement, attention or rewards? The child quickly learns that he can no longer expect this sort of reward and his newly acquired habit quickly disappears.

This happens with most of us. For example, if a candy or pop machine which you normally use doesn’t work a few times, you will probably quit using it. The behavior­money in the machine to receive goods out of the machine­has quickly ended. The important thing to remember is that in circumstances where rewards are given each time a child does something, learning takes place very rapidly, but that this process is also rapidly reversed when the rewards are stopped.

In ordinary family life, especially with older children, it is not necessary to give attention or some other reward each time the child does something you wish to encourage. Instead, encouragement may be given only after several instances of the particular behavior (perhaps every three or four or more) and at varying intervals. The child then never knows when the reward will be given. This is how most parents usually reward their older children. When the rewards are eventually given less often, the children still continue to do what their parents want, and they may also be starting to see why that behavior is thought to be most useful and sensible. For example, you may want an older child to have good table manners even when he is not at home. It is clearly not always possible to remind and reward him. This is one circumstance, however, when commenting on his good table manners every now and again will suffice.

In fact, many older children and adult activities depend on and are kept going by this type of intermittent encouragement from others. We do not need a reward every time we do something. We now understand why certain behavior is desirable and we may get satisfaction from many activities but, still, some sort of encouragement for our various actions occurring every so often maintains our ‘good habits’.

Let’s review what has been presented in this chapter.

We can increase the frequency or strengthen a certain pattern of behavior by giving rewards, praise or attention after it has taken place. This is using positive reinforcement.

The following facts have been learned about such reinforcement:

1. What is reinforcing for one child’s activities may not be so for those of another child, but some praise and attention from adults tends to be generally useful in reinforcing children’s behavior.
2. In encouraging young children to learn and use certain behaviors, it is necessary to reinforce the particular behavior immediately after its occurrence, and to do this frequently.
3. For children of most ages, positive reinforcement after each performance of a particular activity is the most efficient method when first starting to encourage that activity. Later, once the habit is established, occasional reinforcement is all that is needed to maintain it; or it may maintain itself because it is now in itself rewarding to the child.

1. Your one-year-old child says ‘Mama’ for the first time as you put him in his bed; you are pleased and you want to encourage him.

   Attention from the mother will be rewarding for most infants, and will therefore reinforce the actions. Remember, however, that it is the time between the child’s action and when the reward is given which is important, so that a combination of (B) and (D) would be best.

   he long time-interval before playing with the child (C) would make it act as a reward for other actions later in the morning.

2. Your ten-year-old child has brought home a good report card.

   Different children vary greatly in the way they react to different rewards, but most ten-year-olds would probably not find something to eat (A) a sufficient reinforcement to encourage further work at school. Praise (B) can be given immediately and is very effective. Whatever else you do, you will want to praise as well.

   The delay of a few hours is usually too long for a reward to be effective for a ten-year-old; but, coupled with praise, the extra television time (C) would probably be very effective. Giving money alone (D) may not be effective for the same reasons as (A); but paired with praise you might also be teaching him something about saving.

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3. You are encouraging your twelve-year old child to polish his shoes regularly as part of normal care of his clothes.

   When first encouraging a child to do something like polishing shoes, a treat (B) or praise each time (A) will be most effective in getting him started. A film (C) is too long delayed and too big a reward. Commenting on the nice appearance of his clean shoes later in the day (D) is the sort of reward that is needed later to keep the habit going.

4. Your four-year-old is trying to tie shoelaces.

   Training a young child to tie his shoelaces at first requires a reward each time he tries (A). Rewarding at the end of a week (B) is too long a delay, as is the end of the day (C), which is also when he is about to shed his shoes and go to bed (the opposite of tying the laces). If you wait until your child finally manages to complete the task perfectly (D), you and he may be waiting a very long time if you do not give him any encouragement along the way. Praise is usually a very satisfying reward which parents are able to give frequently and readily.

Answer the following:

1. 1. When children are learning something new, reward them

   (A) at the end of the day
   (B) when they attempt the new task
   (C) occasionally

2. When children have learned a habit, such as putting their clothes away, it is a good idea for parents to

   (A) never reward this piece of behavior
   (B) reward occasionally and unpredictably
   (C) reward on the same day each week
   (D) always give a reward when it occurs

3. Susan washed the breakfast dishes at 8:00 a.m., cleaned her room at 8:30 a.m., and had a fight with her brother at 8:40 a.m. At 8:45 a.m. her mother noticed that Susan had done the dishes and cleaned her room and praised her in general terms for being a good girl. Which of Susan’s actions that morning was most probably influenced by her mother’s general praise?

   (A) washing the dishes
   (B) cleaning her room
   (C) fighting with her brother

Answers
1 – B
2 – B
3 – C

If you were unable to answer any of the questions, review the discussion section.